I have to admit, I saw the monthly challenge this month and I was going to avoid doing it. My first response was : What is this a test? hehehehe and then I just shrugged my shoulders and said, whatever, no one will care or notice if I didn't contribute.
So I was a bit surprised (very) to have a personal request from Rowanne, stating she hoped I would give the monthly challenge a try. ;-) My first response was, oh no, she didn't LOL. Of course I am a sucker for anyone who so nicely asks me to do something, not because I felt special or anything.
Here goes it:
First off, I am 19 yrold gay male from Florida. I am amatuer writer of historical, mythological or XFiles slash. I have been HIV poz since I was 14 but diagnosed 3 yrs ago. I take much too many pills and I found writing as somewhat a saviour for me.
I been an XFiles fan for a long time and I always thought Krycek was gay and purposely put to work with Mulder to seduce him. I however thought I was the only one with that theory until I discovered slash and the wonderful of the WEB. Part of my health problems keeps me at home a lot and of course the WEB/AOL were my only outlets for me to enjoy.
I know that this MC was suppose to be anonymous but I think I am the only male in the group, so you all will know who wrote this anyway. As for my status, not something I am ashamed of, but I don't go around telling everyone. However, I feel you all are in a way my 'family' , openminded and generally kind hearted, I will take the risk ;-)
Slash was wonderful, but to my surprise largely a female supported genre. I really used to ask every slash writer I would meet if they were male, until after a few times I noticed I wasn't going to find many male writers. The more I read slash, the more of course I noticed they were written by women. But they were so well written some stories, and so supported of male/male relationships although very little mention of the 'gay' aspect of it all. Then as I met more female writers and heard their reasons for writing, I understood it better.
I suppose that is why as a gay male, many of my stories will have certain issues present, discussed or resolved. I find being able to deal with the emotional/psychological homosexual issue of lovemaking the same sex interesting. I think to me the fact that Mulder wants to fuck Alex not as interesting, as Mulder's acceptance of his sexuality and the entire 'gay' issue behind it. I definitely don't accept the 'i am not gay, i just want to fuck men' theory. ;-) I can't write that unless I am writing how twisted and hard dealing the person is of not accepting their sexuality (gay or bi).
Now comes the problems:
What have I met as I entered the slash world? Many angry women! Women who have told me, that slash is a WOMAN'S WORLD! That I have no business putting 'gay issues' into slash stories because that is not REAL SLASH! That Mulder going to a gay parade is out of character but Mulder getting fucked in the ass is NOT! (?) That as a male writer I can torture and abuse and rape all the male characters I want, because thats ok, they are men, but NOT Scully. That as a gay man, automatically, many of my stories are Mary Sues! That all of my OT characters represent me! (so untrue) That slash is about romance and love found between 2 tv characters only! That the fan fic genre is a safe haven for women to express their fantasies , desires, fears etc and therefore I must watch my step! That I should write stories in a way that will please the female readers that are the majority! If my stories deal with Scully being raped, therefore I been accused of being a rapist. If my stories deal with Mulder as a teen falling in love with someone older/or same age, therefore I am a pedophile. Whew...
So, what do I do? I keep writing, and I keep trying to find out more about it and learning. I am not an expert, but then I don't give that title to anyone either. I take slash and fanfic world with a grain of salt, a hobby that is important for me but not enough to cause me grief.
My family has read my stories, and my boyfriend. I love to tell people I write stories featuring the XFiles characters and how I put Mulder and Krycek together. My mom agrees with the theory ;-) But, I am gay and therefore, the homosexual aspect of slash story writing is not something shocking for my friends or family. If i write MSR, they would be shocked! LOL
I met Nick Lea at a convention, and he was beautiful and charming. I mentioned slash to him and whatnot..and of course told him he was beautiful. He was nice and shook my hand (for a long time i think lol) but I didn't see him flinch being so near an obvious fag.;-) I have this weird deep feeling, David Duchovny is semi perverted and would find my brand of stories interesting..;-)
I have gotten more flames in the past week than most people in a year, but 90 percent of them are from women who skimmed a story or two. My answer is always, If you hate my writing, delete it. I won't change for anyone.
Well..i said too much I am sure. I think the majority of the slash writers and readers are wonderful sweet people and that is why I am still going at it ;-) I love Terma site, and Rowanne is great. I think CC has made a great show and given us two men that are to die for!! ;-) The more I write, the more fun I have. I have over 60stories involving XFiles and some are good, some horrid and some really good (I think? Maybe not lol) But its an ongoing process, I need to keep doing it! And CC needs to PUT MULDER AND ALEX together!! He can't possibly end with Scully can he? Ugh.!
Ok happy mothers day..back to ABFAB marathon!